bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
