she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
