Don't you send me to vm
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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