gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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