she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
