i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
