The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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