Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
