I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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