You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
