if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
