guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
