So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So much rum. So many feels.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
