This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
