I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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