I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
