this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
