I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
