I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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