Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
