Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
