You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
