you would pick up someone in the library
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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