And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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