That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
