call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
