she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
two words: eviction party
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
