We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
