So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
