I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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