After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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