I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
