My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
