Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Pants are for mortals
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
