I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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