it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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