You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
