do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
