it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
