how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
