i was born a porn star she said
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
there is another microwave in the elevator.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
