You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm both gender and math confused
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
