You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
