I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
