You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
