$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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