I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
