im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
pray to the hookup gods
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
