Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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