a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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