he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
where are my eyebrows?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
