He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
