Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
