There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
