how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
